"Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they're always there." - Winnie the Pooh

I am feeling immense gratitude for my friends and decided to pour my heart out to them in a little friend dedicated blog post tonight. I have the worlds best friends! Some of them are near, some of them are far. Most permanent friends can't be present in your day to day life for forever, but that doesn't mean the love leaves just because there is some distance. Here is a journal entry I wrote about my friends;

It's spring and I see my friends in all that surrounds me today.

I see Brooke in the buzzing bees, zooming from flower to flower around Hyde Park. I think of her bubble bee tattoo and her family calling her Bee. The bees move quickly and can be intimidating (aka 12 yr old me was intimidated by 12 yr old Brooke) but they are an essential component to having a beautiful, sunny, and flowerful season. Bee's bring honey and flowers. That's what Brooke brings to me and the rest of the world.

I was just in Croatia and there were stray cats everywhere. It reminded me of the Bronx, where stray cats run around everywhere. Cats have always reminded me of Annalisa. Her black cat Binx, and her newer cat Frankie. I think about Annalisa whenever the stray cats sit on my porch or by my window. It feels like she is watching me from afar. Each and every step. Cats are loyal and long term friends, just like Annalisa. I miss her but I never doubt our friendship, even as the long distance years stretch on.

I look up to the sky and I see Eva and Grace. Both of these roommates/friends reside in the high sky for me, but the two of them couldn't be further apart. Eva soars! Grace shines! My bird, my star. The bird roams wide and flies and tweets and chirps and nests. She has the best nest of them all. Its super welcoming and all are able to hang out there. The world belongs to the birds! Eva told me once that her mom had to stop her from trying to fly as a kid. It makes me laugh to think about little Eva trying to fly by jumping off couch. The star is a reference point for me. Grace is my longterm roommate and she has become a grounding sense of home for me as we have been through several different seasons of living together over the last year with several different, amazing roommates. Plus, like most stars, they light up the night skies. Grace most certainly sparkles in the nighttime. She twinkles, standing out naturally.

I look down and flowers engulf my feet. Daises and roses! The daisies, of course, are me (as my family's "daisy girl") but the roses! The roses are for Care. Care and I are as intertwined as the flowers are. The roses are the symbol of love and a worldwide sign of romance. That is Care. She romanticizes the entire world. She is love and warmth to me. The roses are red and bright, just like her. There is not a soul on the planet who doesn't love roses. That is her!

It's a warm day outside and the sun shines bright. The sun reminds me of Keeley. Her golden hair and effervescent light. Keeley used to always remind me of a butterfly, and she still does, but I've realized she is more sun to me. I did a tarot reading in Killarney the other month and I put my intentions into a card specifically asking the reader a solution to my anxiety (ik, a big question). She flipped the sun card. I think back on this a lot and I tend to think about Keeley. Her friendship has always been the solution to anxiety and so keeley is the sun for me. I watched the sunset the other night and thought of her.

I'm day dreaming now and I imagine an arrow wizzing by my head. This imaginary arrow in Hyde Park is my sister. Fast and sharp and directed and determined. My imagination grows, and I see more and more friends pop up around me. I see Emma as a ladybug and Sam as a dolphin and I think about all the symbols my friends have told me they associate with.

Then I think of my friend Kiki, who told me she doesn't have a symbol. It's okay though because I can still think about Kiki without her having an object or animal. I think about her often and it always cheers me up if I'm sad. I miss her when we are apart and always wish she were here. Maybe Kiki is the wind? She and I both wobble a lot. The wind is exhilarating and brings a breath of fresh air which is exactly what Kiki is to the world. She is so refreshing and I miss laughing with her.

I take a deep breath to smell the air around me, and get a wiff of cherry blossom trees! These are Hana. Beautiful and picturesque and smells good and a sign of spring- of brighter, longer, and happier days to come. Hana is a tree in my life. Rooted and stable year round. She can provide shade, and flowers, and is always there for you to lean on. I painted the cherry blossoms for her and am sending them in the mail. Hopefully they get delivered. Painting also reminds me of Hana. She is so creative. Lots of other things too remind me of Han all the time.

I'm alone right now, technically, but how could I ever really feel alone when all of these things surround me?

I decide to sit down so I sit against the stump of the sycamore tree that is my mom. Shaded and protected. I look around- watching the birds and the cats and the bees and all of the other amazing animals in this park and that my imagination lets me think are around me too. I feel the sun on my skin and the wind blow my hair and I pretend I see an arrow fly by. I look up and imagine the stars behind the clouds and I take a deep breath and smell the cherry blossom trees and the roses and I feel the daisies that are planted at my feet and I think about Winnie the Pooh saying "Good friends are like stars. You don't always see them, but you know they're always there."